Funny Thing

   

     A funny thing I noticed about Law School family blogs is that most of them only had about three posts. Now that I have three posts, and no intention of writing another, I am laughing at myself. But I am making an intention to write more for those who are searching.

     My husband is almost done with his first year of law school and honestly, it was not as crazy as others led me to believe. I was told that I would never see him and that the commitment to school would cause our relationship to suffer, that our kids would miss out on Dad for the next three years. If you and your partner have ever lived through a stressful job or school before, you are prepared for what's coming. Law School is a greater burden for the student, and I do see less of Nathan, but I was prepared for the worst of the worst and this was not that. I imagine when he is working I will see much less of him than I do now. Of course, every person handles stress differently, and maybe Nathan keeps most of his stresses out of the house by choice. He feels most present at home and less stressed by coming home with his work done. Some partners may not choose to do that, but if it's an option, I would suggest it. It makes our family time more sacred and provides him an opportunity to really decompress and relax after a long day.

     As a partner of a law school student, I have really learned to love my partner in a way I have not before. I have a respect and excitement seeing him accomplish a hard task, and thrive in his challenging environment. Nathan took a leap and applied to the joint MBA/JD program. His program is still only three years, but now he will graduate with both degrees. He was accepted and is now in full swing accelerated summer classes. The MBA program actually has a pretty standard schedule and I am still left wondering why everyone stressed how little I would see Nathan.

My advice after the first year that applied to our life:

1. Take it a day at a time and stay positive.
2. Don't wait forever for your partner to come around on plans. Make them and incorporate your partner within them. They will appreciate the lack of decision making and additional stress of making plans - at least Nathan did.
3. If you have kids and are living off of loans, try to find a place with a yard or something free that is outside and near your house. The days can get really long when you are by yourself, so that "alone" time while the kids play in nature is a serious game changer for your mental state.
4. Go outside more, even if you don't want to.
5. Plan a trip, even a mini one, to reconnect and spend time together as a family - camping can be cheap!
6. Go home alone if you have to. This is not my favorite but I am seeing how it is inevitable if I want to see my family more than once a year.
7. Make what you can at home, as often as you can, and then plan times to go out for a treat. See it as a challenge and reward yourself for doing an awesome job.
8. Find something you can do just for yourself - a class, a lesson, a group.
9. Invest in self-care - even if it feels expensive or selfish. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your family or partner.
10. Go to bed early when you can.

      I know my situation will not be the same situation you may be facing, but take from this one piece of advice: Be happy where you are. You will not be in this phase again. It may feel awful and crazy, but there is something to be said for holiday breaks and new classes or schedules each semester. You are potentially in the last phase of student life. Love it for what it is and remember we don't get these moments back. Enjoy!