Time to be REALISTIC not IDEALISTIC

Time to be REALISTIC not IDEALISTIC

So in the thick of the first semester I was stressing about being a stay-at-home mom with no income other than student loans and whatever savings we were dwindling away.

Let me tell you something. Become comfortable with the reality that you will be living in debt for the next three years. The money that you get in the beginning of the semester will be gone by the end of it. This is scary and stressful, but this is three years we are talking about, accept it now. Your family will thank you.

Don't get me wrong here. Obviously I am not suggesting you spend money like you have it, because honestly, you don't. What I am saying is that if you get dinner with your family at a decently priced restaurant because you are too exhausted from: the stress of meal planning, laundry, entertaining your babies, taking a second for yourself, getting through a napless day, or finding a moment to get your kids to play outside - it's ok. In fact, it's worth every penny. Enjoy the meal, don't beat yourself up. Love a night without dishes and don't feel guilty for one second. You have earned a break as well.

I originally thought I was going to tackle the next three years in a very pioneer woman fashion - making my own apple sauce, shampoo, baby wipes etc. There was an inspiring time of about two weeks where I pinned my life away and thought, " I can do this!" If you haven't noticed I tend to be an idealist. When we finally did move, the reality of having two boys and a student to take care of really set in. The time I assumed would be readily available for my pioneer lifestyle was fleeting into priorities I didn't realize would be so demanding - being a participating parent in the day to day lives of my kids and being the support system I signed up to be. Who knew that would be so time consuming? Haha maybe everyone else who is realistic? So my first tip would be - don't be so idealistic with your time. I will say most of this blog will be about carving out your own time, but it's important to remember that you are moving to wherever your significant other will be attending school - for school. As much as I wanted this to be an adventure for me, I'm here to be an actively participating parent and supportive partner.

Do Something for You

With that being said: do something for you. I joined the YMCA with my family. Sure, this could seem like a splurge for most, and honestly it felt like it would be for us as well, in the beginning. It has been a lifesaver. I just had a baby four months prior to moving and I knew I wanted to start working out again. With two hours a day of childcare included in my membership, I am convinced that the YMCA has been making me a better mom since 2017. Most days I join a group of ladies for a workout class in the morning. If I have more time, I will read my book in the entry area, or sit in the jacuzzi or sauna for some alone time. Yes, you read that right. It's possible to have alone time while living across the country from family or knowledge of local babysitters. Oh, and get this, they have a parent's night out. Whaaaaaat? Yep. Once a month we pay $13 a child to drop them off at the YMCA while we spend three hours of kid free time - alone! Not to mention, they offer lessons for the littles and the caretakers are the kindest people. I could talk for hours about how much I love the Y, but I digress.

Plan the Food

What our trips to Costco look like when they are planned

What our trips to Costco look like when they are not planned and taking waaaaay tooooo loooonnggg

     A game changer in the saving money department has been meal planning. I have enjoyed the thought of this process but now I live for it. It saves me soooo much money! I'm no longer walking around trying to find something, filling my cart with needless stuff. Another aspect of the modern world that has made this a game changer is the grocery pickup offered by Kroger and Walmart. Whatever I can't find there, I get at Trader Joes - which I love. Side note: when we decided to move to Lexington I googled the Trader Joes locations and rejoiced in knowing there was one in town - and bonus - the location is literally around the corner from us! Happy Dance! Take the time and effort to plan the meals, plan and order your groceries online if possible. This will change your newly budget dominated life.

Find the FREE Activities

     So remember the - put yourself out there part of my last post? That still applies beyond finding a place to live. One of my absolute favorite places in Lexington is the public library. It has these huge windows and amazing kid play areas - story time. I can't talk about it enough. The best part of the public library system is that there are five locations around town and will have the news about town in terms of focus groups or free community classes. My other avenue to find free activities is looking through Facebook community posts. This is how I found the local farmer's markets, art markets, and around town community traditions that we have come to love! Joining the community groups or mom groups has been great for finding walking groups or kid-friendly outings. Facebook will be your best friend (if it isn't already). If your significant other is socially inclined, have them do some research and see if there are any clubs they can join for students with families.Also, not free, but awesome, check out the local parks and recreation department for community programs.

     I hope you have been helped you in some way. IF you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comments section.
Get out there and do it on purpose!